I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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