everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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