You made me cry and you don't even care
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
