he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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