I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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