ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
