I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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