im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
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It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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