Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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