I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
