Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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