I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
