we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
