This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
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