it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
