he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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