My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
