I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
