Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
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