the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
