I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
