OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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