ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
love makes seman taste better
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
