He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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