Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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