Sober January is a disaster.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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