did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
