look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just found puke in my bra..
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
