So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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