Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just want nice things and good sex
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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