Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
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we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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