Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
