here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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