My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
