wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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