wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
