In the future we'll all be gay
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he shaved USA in his pubs
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
