"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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