My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
