So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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