I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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