the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize