so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think I just sharted jello shots
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