He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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