That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
i think i just lost a toe
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
