Have you finally orgasmed yet?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
