Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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