I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
