New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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