OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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