It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
