Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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