So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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