Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
