Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
