Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize